holy crap
ok, i don't know where to start with this. honestly sprite movies make me sick. especially long, boring ones with lots of reading, no action and no humour what so ever. anyways...uhm...try shortening the amount of time the text is up. Anyone who needs that much time to read is a moron, or mentally challenged. Next, since you don't seem to have much action you should really make up for it with humour. Or you could pump it up with some heavy-duty action scenes. All in all, this would be an OK beginners flash.